Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Dogs

Dogs
by Michelle Stiles
 Dogs are man’s best friend.
That bond will never end.
Throughout time their will always be
A best friend for you and me.
Dogs have many jobs
                                                                To help the blind, 
                                                                To be kind,
               And help them through the day.
Dogs have other jobs too.
                      Hunting and police work is what they do.
              Saving lives and catching pheasants
               Make our lives much more pleasant.
There are many types of different dogs.
Some chase cats and some chase frogs.
Short ones, tall ones
Furry ones, bald ones!



Dogs are awesome creatures
They love to have fun.
Playing, chasing, chewing, fetch
The fun has just begun.
Dogs are really sweet.
They love tasty treats.
The loving never ends
From our canine friends.

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Suicidal Squirrel



Suicidal Squirrel

by Michelle Stiles

Driving along a country road
Following my dad’s pickup truck
Helping him carry the load
Something happened that made me say, “What the fuck?”
There was a squirrel
A furry little thing
In my tires got swirled
I’ll bet it felt the sting
It came out of nowhere
There was nothing I could do
Maybe it was just hungry and didn’t care
Just wanted a nut or two?
Or maybe it decided it was its time
Had a lot of guilt
Like it was running from a crime
No matter what the case, I still felt bad
When I heard the THUNK
After I hit it, it made me real sad
I wanted to pull over and put it in my trunk
But it happened so fast and I had places to go
Time is such a tease
I wanted to help it out but where it went? I didn’t know
Plus I didn’t want to catch a disease
On the side of the road is where you now lay
I want to apologize that I caused you to decease
To the poor little creature whose life I took away
You suicidal squirrel, I hope you rest in peace
 

Saturday, February 21, 2015

BFF screenplay

B.F.F. (Better Fucking Forget it)

by Michelle Stiles

EXT. FRONT YARD - DAY

CORRIN (21) passive-aggressive, skinny red-head with glasses talks to FELICITY (21) cool, pretty brunette with bangs. They are best friend's forever. 

CORRIN

Hey Chicky.

FELICITY

Oh...hey.

CORRIN

Why didn't you text me back on Saturday? What? So you're not talking to me now?

FELICITY

I was on vacation spending time with my sister.

CORRIN

You mad at me?

FELICITY

Umm...

CORRIN

C'mon tell me. What's going on with you lately?

FELICITY

You know what? Yes I am!

CORRIN

What the fuck?

FELICITY

You heard me. It hurt my feelings that you bailed on our trip last minute.

CORRIN

Oh please! I'm not even having this conversation with you. Bye!

FELICITY

K bye!

CORRIN

Wow, that was a fast reply! You grow some balls all of a sudden?

FELICITY

I've always had balls honey!

CORRIN

This is bullshit.

FELICITY

What? So now my feelings are bullshit? Some friend you are!

CORRIN

Just because I didn't go to the stupid beach with you?

FELICITY

This isn't some last minute escapade. We've been planning this trip for a year now.

CORRIN

So what?

FELICITY

So what?! I was looking forward to it and you didn't even let me know until the night before that you weren't coming.

CORRIN

I told you I had to go to my cousin's grad party.

FELICITY

No. You didn't HAVE to go. You asked your daddy. You're a grown-ass woman and can make your own decisions!

CORRIN

What the fuck?

FELICITY

You also pulled this crap when I invited you to come visit me at school. And for awhile now you've been so distant. You never return my calls and you always have some lame ass excuse. At least I try!

CORRIN

You know I don't like talking on the phone.

FELICITY

What are you eight years old?!

CORRIN

Oh please. You never show up on time when we hang out.

FELICITY

At least I let you know in advance that I'm gonna be late. And that's another thing, I'm so sick of you insulting me about that. Sorry I actually have a life that doesn't revolve around you!

CORRIN

What are you the fucking queen? You're not perfect yourself sweetheart!

FELICITY

I know I'm not perfect. But I don't use my flaws as a crutch!

CORRIN

I don't use my flaws as anything.

FELICITY

Yes you do. I've been through much worse shit in my life than you ever have. Unlike you I grow from it and I learn!

CORRIN

Are you fucking kidding me? Well, if I'm such a crappy person, why are we even friends?

FELICITY

I've tolerated it because I care about you. But this is the last straw! If you can't appreciate my effort then I'm done!

CORRIN

This is absurd! You're yelling at me like a bad dog.

FELICITY

Well, I know a bitch when I see one!

CORRIN

Woah you need to cool your pants honey, or I won't wanna talk to you anymore!

FELICITY

Fine, then don't!


Sunday, February 8, 2015

Jellybean Haiku

Jellybean

by Michelle Stiles

Eat me up in a gulp
Yummy and small
Sugary, little and sweet



Monday, January 19, 2015

Mi Bella Rubia

Mi Bella Rubia

by Michelle Stiles




           Pooch was my given name. I was born in a ditch on the roadside in Guatemala. My mother was a stray mutt and I never met my father. The litter I was born into was my first family. Unfortunately, after my mother abandoned us, all of my brothers and sisters died from heat and starvation. I was lucky though.
My master Roberto discovered me when I was just a little pup walking into the barrio in search of
food. He was a mentally retarded man who lived all alone. Roberto took me in and took care of me
 the best he could. I loved him.
          One day, Roberto was teaching me a new trick, play dead or el muerto as he called it.  Roberto pretended to choke, playfully fell on the ground, and laid there flat. Then he picked up his head and laughed his goofy laugh.
         “Now your turn Pooch,” Roberto chuckled.

I attempted to copy what he did by getting on my hind legs and then plopped down with my eyes
closed. Roberto was so pleased that he clapped his hands in excitement. “Muy bien Pooch. Good
boy!”

He picked it up. The bone. The bone that was my last given snack. Roberto held it up and said “Ven 
aquí”.
So of course I listened to my master and took the tasty treat. It was so delicious! Milkbone brand I 
believe? As I crunched and crunched away, I noticed that Roberto looked confused. It was like he had
forgotten something in the barrio. He turned away onto the busy street. Too quick! I barked to warn
him but suddenly WHAM! A car hit him and my master was dead! Poor Roberto.



After Roberto’s death, I was left homeless in Guatemala. The following month was horrible. Along
with the loss of my master, I was left hungry, had no shelter, and nobody who cared about me. In
 many ways, I was abandoned again. It was difficult to find a place to sleep. Some nights I slept on
park benches, under bridges, and even in the ditches along the windy roadside. Life wasn’t easy for
me. I needed to find a home.

At this point I was starving. My stomach was growling like
an angry junkyard dog with rabies. I was practically emaciated at this point. My ribs were visible and my face grew gaunt.  
One day in the park I spotted a fat couple sitting on a bench. The man was easily three hundred pounds. He had a thick black mustache and lots of machismo for a bigger guy. The woman with him was rather pudgy too but had a sweet, sensitive looking face despite all the wrinkles. They must have food! As I continued to observe from a safe distance, I noticed they took out a brown paper bag. The woman whipped out a couple enchiladas and a Tupperware bowl of black beans. Food!  The smoky smell of the greasy beef wafted through the air. I got so excited that I couldn’t control myself. My tail was wagging and my panting grew deeper. I trotted over to the woman and looked up at her in desperation for at least a scrap. She was about to take a large bite of that tasty looking delicacy when she finally noticed me.
 
“Qué lindo!” the woman said with a sweet smile. My cuteness was working in my favor.   Suddenly, the man let out this huge dark cough.
“Juanita! Don’t waste the food on that pathetic bribón!” the man yelled in a disgusted tone.
“But Fernando, he’s so cute! Look at his big brown eyes.”
“I don’t care. He’s just a scavenger! You’ll
probably get a disease if he licks you.”
“But Fernando…”

“No mujer!” Fernando shouted as he raised his hand to Juanita.
He was so loud that it honestly frightened me. I cowered away slowly with my tail between my legs. I 
ran away before that crazy man could strike me too. As I sprinted I could hear Juanita crying from a
distance. There was no way that those people would’ve been good masters.
             I continued on my search for food. It was getting late and the sky was growing dark. It became difficult for me to see but I caught a whiff of some chicken. ¡Dios mío! It smelled so mouthwatering. I followed the scent to a Pollo Campero restaurant. 
The building was all lit up with the giant chicken mascot in a cowboy hat sign teasing me. Police
heavily guarded the building so I couldn’t just walk right in. Luckily, there was a dumpster out back.
There was bound to be some leftover chicken bones, hopefully with that delicious barbeque sauce on
it.
         The dumpster was in an isolated location several feet from the back of the restaurant. I checked to see if the coast was clear and it was. A few soda crates happened to be right next to the dumpster. I
climbed the crate and belly-flopped into the dumpster. Oh it felt so fantastic to roll around in the filth.
 I found some leftover bones in a cardboard bucket and dug right in. I chewed and licked every bit of
sauce and meat off those bones. I was enjoying myself until I heard a loud BANG! Some human had
slammed a tin garbage can into the dumpster. The vibrations from the impact gave me a huge
headache. I picked up my head with the cardboard bucket still on top.
            “Hey you! Get out of there you nasty perro! ¡Ándale!" a busboy yelled.
I was totally busted. I tried to get out of that dumpster as fast as I could. Unfortunately, the bucket was still on my head so I couldn’t see. I banged my head a twice into the metal sides before I got out. When I got out I jumped down off the crates and ran like crazy. The bucket eventually flew off and I could see again. My heart was pounding and I grew tired real quickly.
            I was walking alongside a ditch, looking for a place to sleep when I heard a sad strange noise. My ears perked up in alert. I looked around and at first I didn’t see anything. Then I clearly heard a cry of pain.

            “Hola?” I cautiously asked.
The noise came again but then I realized it was coming from inside the ditch. I looked down to see another dog curled up in the ditch. It was a female golden retriever. She had a collar on and looked way too fancy to just be a stray like me. I went to her aid.
“Are you alright?” I asked in concern.
The golden retriever sat up in fright. I must have startled her.
            “Don’t be afraid. I’m not going to hurt you.” I reassuringly told her.
She whimpered, “I’m…I don’t know where I am…I’m lost”. Her big brown eyes suddenly appeared to be crying. I went to her side to comfort her.
“There, there bonita” I tenderly said. I noticed her beautiful blonde locks had been covered in mud. She was shivering—terrified. I knew that I couldn’t leave her. As I felt the cold of her body naturally rub against my warmth I knew in that moment that I was in love with her. Mi bella rubia. I let her whimper and cry into my short brown fur. We only had each other and that was more than okay for me. We fell asleep warmly snuggled next to one another. It was the best night’s sleep I had in a while.
We woke up the next morning to the sound of a large bus whizz past us and let out a big puff of black muffler smoke. After we both finished coughing, the golden retriever looked at me with a puzzled expression.
     “Como se llama?” she asked.
     “They call me Pooch. What is your name?” I replied.
     “Sandy”
     “What a pretty name.”
I checked her out and noticed that her fur was even more matted with mud than I realized last night. She didn’t look quite as scared though. We trusted each other.
            “Do you know how to get back to Antigua from here? I lost my masters there.” Sandy said.
            “I have a rough idea. If you don’t mind me asking, what happened?”
“Well, my masters Leona and Edgar were shopping in the marketplace when this mean little girl pulled my tail. It hurt so bad that I panicked and ran away. You see, Leona is very petite and wasn’t strong enough to hold me back. When I turned back around to find my masters, they were out of sight and I was completely lost.” Sandy began to whimper again.
“Its okay. What happened next?” I quietly asked her.

“I didn’t know what to do. I…just…I just panicked and walked towards the main road but then it just kept going and going and then I got splashed by a puddle of mud. Somehow I ended up in the ditch.” Sandy continued to cry.
“Do you know what hotel they’re staying at?” I asked.
“I think it is called The Ocean Inn”
“Okay, well I’m somewhat familiar with Antigua. I’ll lead you there.”
“Oh, that’s great to hear! But first is there somewhere I can wash off? I look like a Bernese Mountain Dog in all of this mud.”

We both shared a barking laugh and I told her that we could wash off in the lake. As I lead her down to the lake, we talked about our masters and I told her about Roberto. She was so sympathetic. It felt so great to speak about my master again.

            Although it was a long, hot walk we eventually got to the marina by the lake. Roberto used to bring me to the lake all the time. Sandy and I jumped right in the cool refreshing dark blue water. We had a fun time doggie paddling together. I got really cold fast so I rushed out and shook the water off my body. Afterwards, I basked in the hot sun on the shoreline. I closed my eyes and felt the heat warm up my clean fur. When I opened my eyes I saw Sandy emerge out of the water.
It was so breathtaking. Her golden locks blew in the tropical breeze. As she shook off the water from her athletic body it appeared to be in slow motion. She was so caliente! I couldn’t help but feel aroused so I let out a howl of excitement. “HOWL!”
            Sandy noticed and was flattered. She came over to me and said, “You’re not so bad yourself”.
 Soon there after, we made love under the shade of a palm tree. It was beautiful. I looked into those gorgeous brown eyes of hers and said, “Te amo Sandy”.
“Te amo Pooch” was her amazing reply.
I was completely smitten. Yes our love happened fast, but it was natural and real. I loved her, mi bella rubia.

“When we find my masters, you should come live with us.” Sandy suggested as we walked back to Antigua. This honestly shocked me in a good way. I tilted my head to the side and thought to myself Really? A new family with Sandy? It’s too good to be true!
“Si, si mi amor! I would love that!” I said as I wagged my tail.
After an extremely long walk, we finally reached Antigua. I had a general idea at the hotel’s location but wasn’t totally sure. We walked through the crowded streets. The marketplace was packed with people. The hotel was nowhere in sight and it was getting dark soon.



            “Oh no Pooch, what are we going to do?” Sandy asked anxiously.
“We’ve just got to keep looking.” I replied.
Out of nowhere, Sandy’s ears perked up in alert. “Did you hear that?” she asked.
           “Hear what?”
           “Listen”
I listened and for a brief second and heard a shrill voice call out what sounded like Sandy’s name.
“I think it’s my master!” Sandy yelped. “Quick! Bark as loud as you can Pooch”.
            We both let out loud barks and then in the blink of an eye, a petite woman emerged from the crowd. The woman had appeared to be crying and ran over to us screaming, “SANDY!!”
Sandy jumped for joy as she yelped “Oh boy, oh boy its my master! Leona,” Sandy ran over into Leona’s arms.
           “Oh Sandy! We found you!” Leona cried. A tall slim man ran quickly behind Leona. “Look Edgar! It’s Sandy”
          “Oh Sandy I’m so glad we found you!” Edgar said as he petted Sandy’s head. Edgar took out a leather leash and hooked it onto Sandy’s collar. Sandy looked so giddy and excited to be reunited with her masters. Leona cried tears of joy into Edgar’s chest. As Edgar and Leona were about to lead Sandy back to the hotel, Sandy rushed over to my side and whimpered. I licked the side of her face. Edgar and Leona at first looked at us in astonishment and then looked at each other with a genuine smile. 
           A few weeks later, I had a few new accessories: a brand new collar, a leather leash, and a brand new family! Edgar and Leona decided to get me off the streets and adopt me. They gave me food, water, veterinarian care, and new toys. 
On Sunday morning Edgar and Leona brought us for an early walk. They lead us up to the rooftop of a restaurant in Antigua to see the sun come up. As we reached the rooftop Leona let go of my leash. I stopped and saw mi nueva familia. Sandy was groomed and happy. I saw my new masters laughing and gently caressing each other’s hands. The look in their eyes was the same one I had for them. That look was love. My loves. My family.
        They called me over, “Ven aquí cariño”. So I joined them near the bench. Together, we looked out onto the marvelous sunrise. I could feel their warmth—their love. And I knew in that moment that I was finally home.